Gelati
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was undertaken as part of a challenge. Of sorts. You see, my lack of creativity led me to ask my friends for a random topic to blog about, and this is the first thing that they came up with. So...randomness ensues.
Gelati /jel-at-I or juh-LAH-tee / n.
The state of being covered in a translucent, viscous and slightly adhesive liquid, or more broadly, this substance (often in semi-solid form). The goo may be coloured or flavoured. The etymology of this word is confused. While most sources claim that the term comes from the plural form of the Italian word for ice cream: gelato/gelati, which is a conveniently plausible explanation. The truth is much darker, however, and the history of gelati as we know it is outlined below.
Gelati was first invented by the Japanese during the Second World War, where they employed it to great success in distracting American naval scouts prior to the infamous Pearl Harbour bombings. This is the source of the name gelati. American sailors were overheard by fishermen to be exclaiming "There's goo on me! There's goo on me! It's delicious goo!". After this was translated into the local tongue and back into English, the phrase became "Gel at I! Gel at I! Gel digest superb!". After the defeat of the Japanese, the soon to be defunct League of Nations seized Japan's military equipment, amongst which was the formula for creating gelati. They then distributed some of it as aid to the countries affected, one of whom being Korea.
Like many wartime inventions, gelati was found to have an application during peacetime; as a dessert. The Koreans decided to distribute what they saw as a potential rival to the then currently popular ice cream. Although not initially accepted due to its notoriety, gelati quickly became an international craze, culminating in the Korean war over a dispute about who had rights to the royalties generated by this phenomenon. Soon after the war, the United Nations once again seized gelati to prevent further conflict. After much protest from dessert vendors and consumers, the UN decided to re-release gelati. However, they mandated that no country could claim ownership of the popular dessert and set strict guidelines on its distribution.
For whatever reason, whether out of fear of warfaring countries using gelati as a weapon or to disguise one of the more embarrassing events of American naval history, the UN decided to erase the history of gelati and replaced it with the much more familiar Italian origin as is the current consensus. An agreement of the post-Mussolini government with the UN was to accept the responsibility of claiming the invention of the dessert (which was conveniently dated back to Emperor Nero of Rome), and thereafter its perfection.
--Inspired by Uncylcopedia: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Suggestions for future topics are welcome, and I'll try my best (but some topics are easier to write about than others so don't be offended if I reject ideas).
Gelati /jel-at-I or juh-LAH-tee / n.
The state of being covered in a translucent, viscous and slightly adhesive liquid, or more broadly, this substance (often in semi-solid form). The goo may be coloured or flavoured. The etymology of this word is confused. While most sources claim that the term comes from the plural form of the Italian word for ice cream: gelato/gelati, which is a conveniently plausible explanation. The truth is much darker, however, and the history of gelati as we know it is outlined below.
Gelati was first invented by the Japanese during the Second World War, where they employed it to great success in distracting American naval scouts prior to the infamous Pearl Harbour bombings. This is the source of the name gelati. American sailors were overheard by fishermen to be exclaiming "There's goo on me! There's goo on me! It's delicious goo!". After this was translated into the local tongue and back into English, the phrase became "Gel at I! Gel at I! Gel digest superb!". After the defeat of the Japanese, the soon to be defunct League of Nations seized Japan's military equipment, amongst which was the formula for creating gelati. They then distributed some of it as aid to the countries affected, one of whom being Korea.
Like many wartime inventions, gelati was found to have an application during peacetime; as a dessert. The Koreans decided to distribute what they saw as a potential rival to the then currently popular ice cream. Although not initially accepted due to its notoriety, gelati quickly became an international craze, culminating in the Korean war over a dispute about who had rights to the royalties generated by this phenomenon. Soon after the war, the United Nations once again seized gelati to prevent further conflict. After much protest from dessert vendors and consumers, the UN decided to re-release gelati. However, they mandated that no country could claim ownership of the popular dessert and set strict guidelines on its distribution.
For whatever reason, whether out of fear of warfaring countries using gelati as a weapon or to disguise one of the more embarrassing events of American naval history, the UN decided to erase the history of gelati and replaced it with the much more familiar Italian origin as is the current consensus. An agreement of the post-Mussolini government with the UN was to accept the responsibility of claiming the invention of the dessert (which was conveniently dated back to Emperor Nero of Rome), and thereafter its perfection.
--Inspired by Uncylcopedia: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Suggestions for future topics are welcome, and I'll try my best (but some topics are easier to write about than others so don't be offended if I reject ideas).
ranted by Wayland at
4/19/2007 12:22:00 am
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