Now for something a little different

Ok, here is something different. Some time ago in the past I was talking to a friend about how more people should watch the Simpsons, and somehow or another we came up with some text preaching the joys of watching the show. Well, here it is, a refined and expanded version of The Simpsons Gospel (note some of it may have been copied from the Bible…):

In the beginning, the Eternal Simpson in the Sky created the world and on each day He fashioned form his great mind the different aspects of the world. On the fifth day of Creation he made a man but saw that the man had nothing to do bar from frolic with the animals. So He spake “Let there be The Simpsons” and there they were, in their full joyous glory. And spake the man, “Praise the Lord, for thou art infinitely wise. I shall henceforth devote my humble services to thee, great one!”

So it was that man and Simpsons lived in peace, until such time that man felt lonely in his joy for the show. So prayed the man for a partner with whom he could share the gifts of the Simpsons. So took He from the man one tender rib and fashioned out of it an appropriate partner for the man: a woman. Together the man and the woman expressed their love for their favourite show, and produced offspring with whom they could expand the joy known as The Simpsons.

And so it came to be that the race of humanity expanded beyond the borders of the paradise the Lord had fashioned for his beloved creatures and He had no choice but to let them wander the face of the Earth. But there was one who opposed the Eternal Simpson in the Sky, one who became bitter for he did not find The Simpsons at all enjoyable. And he, to undermine His strength, will try at every step and turn to deter His people from the righteous path.

So take heed, for when thou time is due, thou shalt ascend to the sky. Once there the Guardian of the Gate to eternal bliss shall place upon thee one task. That task is to complete one phrase that the Guardian shall ask thee. And if thou art able to complete that phrase thou shalt be forever welcomed and embraced by the Eternal Simpson in the Sky. But if thou shalt fail, then thou shalt fall ever into the darkness of lesser sitcoms and animations never to be let back into the heavenly afterlife.

To be continued...or not...depends on whether I can be bothered...