Cover-alls

[Edit 26/10/05]
The gym has redeemed itself by playing Pearl Jam's Black. Well, perhaps they didn't do this willingly, but they are redeemed in my eyes nonetheless.

This will be yet another post to add to the collective concerning the evident decline in the state of our music.

I was listening to the radio today, and I heard some of the worst covers ever aired. Well, they weren't really covers so much as hideous manglings in large machinery with newborn kittens and puppies while playing out of tune violins with saxophones that have been run over four times each by 150-tonne trucks filled with hippopotamus manure.

I wasn't sure which station the radio was tuned into but I think it was that new station they've instated, 94.5? Anyway, the reason I didn't know what station the radio was on was because I was in the gym, and being distracted by my activities I did not at first notice the song that was being aired. A bit later though, I noticed that the song sounded strangely familiar. Careful listening revealed that the song was in fact Guns N' Roses' classic Sweet Child O' Mine. It was a great song. Until that chick on the radio destroyed it.

Not only were the guitars (with that AWESOMELY AWESOME intro and riff) and drums replaced with an electronic beat, but the singer didn't even try to put any sort of emotion into her voice. It was a bland performance with no energy, no awesome riff and a singer who sounded like she couldn't care less whether anyone liked the song or not. My anger rose but it subsided as I once again became absorbed in trying to lift those surprisingly heavy 1kg barbells.

I made a quick mental decision to stop listening to the music at all, and that strategy served me well, until a careless slip of my conscious deafness struck me. This time however, it was the Smith's timeless How Soon is Now. Another great song. Another tragic burial. I think that woman should just go and castrate the 80s right now. Having no regard for great bands, she plunged forwards into the song, with the same listless voice, the same lack of energy, even the same beat to some extent. I couldn't bear it any longer, and proceeded to perforate both my eardrums using my manus digitus minimus and all the strength granted to me by my endeavours as I could not get to my bag fast enough to retrieve a pen. Relieved at last, I finished my workout and went home.

Next time I'm taking in my MP3 player.