Logic

Logic. It's great. Easy to learn, hard to master. We all claim logic to prove the validity of our actions. Everyone imposes their own brand of logic to what they do and how they explain various events or ideals that they encounter during their (short) lives. There are also infinite occasions when something seems to "defy logic" (like many of the Darwin awards- see previous post). Something happens that you just can't explain. It's so baffling that we claim this event should never have happened, had logic been followed.

Yet I suspect that there is no such thing as 'illogical'. Nor then, would there be such a thing as "more logical" or "less logical", as this line of gradiation would demand something to be "more illogical" etc. What do I mean by this? Well, it is my (current) view that if you take everything into account, you would, logically, arrive at the same conclusion as, say, those you claim are being illogical. Whether it be psychological factors, physical factors or otherwise (maybe the aliens made them do it), there must be something to drive a person to do a seemingly idiotic thing. This person may realise the error of his/her actions afterwards, but at the time I would think that everything seemed perfectly clear and the decision was relatively easy. The logical conclusion? Illogic (and hence logic) is a fabrication for pompous, supposedly 'educated' asses like myself to prove a point without doing any actual work.

Oh, as just as a clarification I'm not talking about that philosophical or mathematical logic, but rather the species which sometimes may state "that's not the logical thing to do". I hope some of you will put up a good argument to spur this train of thought on. This blog needs some debating life! Won't you let it live? Won't you let it live!

Why have I written about this? I don't know. I probably read it somewhere but can't remember so I'm shamelessly ripping it off and saying it's my own. Also, I really didn't have much to do after a day of claiming to study but actually bludging the day away reading various useless facts on the internet. What did I learn? That Robin Williams was voted "least likely to succeed" by his high school chums and that he does a lot of improvisational dialogue (ad-lib as the website described it) in many of his comic movies (and some others, like "Aladdin"). I also learnt that all-natural products (shampoos, soaps etc.) can be a reasonably tasty alternative to food when you're desperate, or not. What I haven't learnt is what I was supposed to be learning today...things about the brain.

Instead I read useless fact upon useless fact. Like did you know the heaviest brain on record weighed in at a hefty 2.3kg? The average is 1.4kg, so imagine my surprise when I found out Einstein's brain was only 1.23kg! The biggest animal brain is that of the sperm whale, with a whopping 7.8kg brain! That'll feed a poor man for weeks! Compare this to a great white shark, who has a brain coming in at a mighty, awe inspiring 34g. Gee, not so scary now are they?

"Ha, you might have giant sharp teeth and can generate enough jaw pressure to crush a tank but [singing] I'm smart! Much smarter than you! [end singing]"

Even a sheep, considered by many a very stupid animal has a brain of 140g. I suppose this makes that show about the sharks who went around fighting crime (I can't for the life of me remember what it was called...Street Sharks?) VERY far-fetched. Considering they obviously don't possess the cortical capacity to form words, reason or even poop on demand even if they did somehow develop complex vocal cords and the ability to move their mouth into other positions than a giant malicious grin. Besides, where the hell did they get their arms and legs? Not to mention fingers and presumably toes.

It's been brought to my attention that they were actually mutated teenagers, who became half-man half-shark hybrids. Now, to do this one would think shark DNA would have to be carefully spliced onto the inherent genome of each cell on the teenagers' bodies so as not to destroy all their cells but also instantly transform them into a shark with arms, legs, good fine facial muscle control and all that other stuff I've just ranted about. Some scientist. If he wasn't so stark raving mad I would've liked to see him win all the Nobel Prizes. All six of them. At once. A prize in chemistry for discovering a way to spontaneously transform one bunch of composition into another. A prize in physics for the machine that emitted whatever it was to induce this change. It would have to be radioactive, seeing as the show was so obviously a rip off of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The prize in physiology (medicine) is obvious, for finding a way to sustain these freaks during and after the "operation". A prize in literature for the book he'd inevitably publish describing his technique, and the subsequent autobiographies detailing his life with the sharks. The ordeals, the drama. A certifiable work of literary genius. And finally the peace prize for not only somehow containing these sharks so that they wouldn't do what sharks do and just bite the crap out of everything in sight, but also converting them to fight evil villains hell bent on taking over the surface world. Even when they'd obviously be more at home in the ocean. Where there wouldn't be other creepy mutant sea-creatures roaming the land (or seabed) hell bent on stopping you. Besides, who gives too shits whether some idiot deformed manta ray called Mantaman crowns himself the King of the Oceans anyway?

[Next time, on Wayland goes Wacko...
The inherent insanity of Street Sharks continued
PLUS! Pokémon: pollution, political or just plain crap?
AND...Reality shows revealed!]