Shampoo
Shampoo /SHAM-poo or sham-POO/ v. & n.
A viscous liquid noted for its powerful cleansing properties or the act of cleaning with such an agent. Not to be confused with shame poo, which is the state of being humiliatingly smeared with excrement.
Shampoo was first discovered on the banks of the Amazon. It was often noted by Spanish explorers that natives who lived close to the Amazon had luxuriously clean and healthy hair, much unlike their own frazzled hair. The secret to these glorious locks was a closely kept secret, however, and when the Conquistadors left with their piles of treasure and potatoes, they could not help but wonder what it was that kept the natives' hair so beautiful. Much later, the fall of the major civilisations of South America caused many of the native secrets to be offered as protection against annihilation (an unkept promise). It was revealed that a rare Amazonian salamander was the source of the hair reinvigoration. The salamander ate a unique blend of insects and various small plants, which were blended in its digestive tract and excreted as a very powerful cleanser that was gentle enough to be used on hair.
The odour of the salamander excrement was not appealing to the European market, however, and the discovery lay as waste (pun fully intended) on the piles of treasures. About half a century later, chemists extracted the key ingredient of the salamander excrement, and were therefore able to eliminate the foul smell yet keep the desirable cleansing qualities. These scientists were also clever enough to think of enhancing the extracts with pleasant odours, such as various fruits and flowers. They called this product "shampoo", or literally "fake faeces". However, the price of extraction and general poor access to fresh water meant that the market for "shampoo" was limited to a very small group of the extremely rich.
After the Industrial Revolution, the availability of shampoo expanded very rapidly and its cost was also dramatically decreased. Numerous companies started investing in shampoo, although none of the original companies survive today. The reason for this was that the early companies were too direct about the origins of their product. Bearing product labels such as "Stunning Stool", "Fabulous Faeces", "Dangerously Dung", "Definitely Faecal" and "The Good Shit", these companies soon went bankrupt when they found that they had very poor market penetration. It wasn't until the invention of advertising and drastic name changes that shampoo products gained its much needed exposure.
A viscous liquid noted for its powerful cleansing properties or the act of cleaning with such an agent. Not to be confused with shame poo, which is the state of being humiliatingly smeared with excrement.
Shampoo was first discovered on the banks of the Amazon. It was often noted by Spanish explorers that natives who lived close to the Amazon had luxuriously clean and healthy hair, much unlike their own frazzled hair. The secret to these glorious locks was a closely kept secret, however, and when the Conquistadors left with their piles of treasure and potatoes, they could not help but wonder what it was that kept the natives' hair so beautiful. Much later, the fall of the major civilisations of South America caused many of the native secrets to be offered as protection against annihilation (an unkept promise). It was revealed that a rare Amazonian salamander was the source of the hair reinvigoration. The salamander ate a unique blend of insects and various small plants, which were blended in its digestive tract and excreted as a very powerful cleanser that was gentle enough to be used on hair.
The odour of the salamander excrement was not appealing to the European market, however, and the discovery lay as waste (pun fully intended) on the piles of treasures. About half a century later, chemists extracted the key ingredient of the salamander excrement, and were therefore able to eliminate the foul smell yet keep the desirable cleansing qualities. These scientists were also clever enough to think of enhancing the extracts with pleasant odours, such as various fruits and flowers. They called this product "shampoo", or literally "fake faeces". However, the price of extraction and general poor access to fresh water meant that the market for "shampoo" was limited to a very small group of the extremely rich.
After the Industrial Revolution, the availability of shampoo expanded very rapidly and its cost was also dramatically decreased. Numerous companies started investing in shampoo, although none of the original companies survive today. The reason for this was that the early companies were too direct about the origins of their product. Bearing product labels such as "Stunning Stool", "Fabulous Faeces", "Dangerously Dung", "Definitely Faecal" and "The Good Shit", these companies soon went bankrupt when they found that they had very poor market penetration. It wasn't until the invention of advertising and drastic name changes that shampoo products gained its much needed exposure.
ranted by Wayland at
5/08/2007 10:31:00 pm
|
0 comments
