Procrastination
Procrastination is a prevalent infectious disease affecting a significant proportion of young adults, especially those going through university. It causes the sufferer to delay important activities for less urgent activities that are deemed more enjoyable. It has a significant impact on the quality of life of those it affects and is currently one of the most common causes of exam and job failure.
Epidemiology: Males and females of all races are affected equally. The peak age of onset is 17-30, although it can affect people of all ages. The disease seems to be more prevalent in developed countries.
Aetiology: There are many infecting agents that lead to procrastination. Bacterial organisms include the blogging bug (Typobacterium blogospherus), brain rot (Idioboxus spp.), Youtubus spp. and the debilitating Faceboococcus procrastinarius. The only viral agent known is the highly infectious Wikivirus.
Pathogenesis: The pathogenesis of procrastination is largely unknown. However, it occurs mainly in the setting of workmunosuppression. That is, the causative organisms are opportunistic infections. Often, the workmunosuppression is a result of unrealistic thoughts regarding the amount of time left. Once infected, the individual feels a strong urge to stop doing work and embarks on a series of strange behaviours depending on the causative organism. Infections typically last for several hours, and infections can follow quickly after one another. It is not uncommon for affected individuals to have many concurrent infections. As the workmune system is not active during infections, the individual does not mount a response and therefore may be affected multiple times by the same strain.
Clinical features: Unwillingness to do work despite increased pressure to do so. Increased stress levels and anxiety. An inability to concentrate on work but a paradoxically increased ability to concentrate on non-work related activities is a classical feature and is nigh pathognomonic.
Investigations: The diagnosis is based on clinical findings, although confirmatory tests may be done. In many cases there is an increased level of clutter on imaging of the affected individual's study area.
Management: The only known cure for procrastination is completing the work that the affected individual was avoiding. There is no known cure during active infection although some make a spontaneous recovery. Specific measures may be taken to reduce the likelihood of coming into contact with infecting organisms, however this often fails as these organisms are almost ubiquitous and the will of an affected individual to avoid them is often weak. Medical treatments are mostly unsatisfactory, although a trial of parental or peer pressure QID maybe instigated. Surgical options include internet severance and amputation of the television antenna.
Epidemiology: Males and females of all races are affected equally. The peak age of onset is 17-30, although it can affect people of all ages. The disease seems to be more prevalent in developed countries.
Aetiology: There are many infecting agents that lead to procrastination. Bacterial organisms include the blogging bug (Typobacterium blogospherus), brain rot (Idioboxus spp.), Youtubus spp. and the debilitating Faceboococcus procrastinarius. The only viral agent known is the highly infectious Wikivirus.
Pathogenesis: The pathogenesis of procrastination is largely unknown. However, it occurs mainly in the setting of workmunosuppression. That is, the causative organisms are opportunistic infections. Often, the workmunosuppression is a result of unrealistic thoughts regarding the amount of time left. Once infected, the individual feels a strong urge to stop doing work and embarks on a series of strange behaviours depending on the causative organism. Infections typically last for several hours, and infections can follow quickly after one another. It is not uncommon for affected individuals to have many concurrent infections. As the workmune system is not active during infections, the individual does not mount a response and therefore may be affected multiple times by the same strain.
Clinical features: Unwillingness to do work despite increased pressure to do so. Increased stress levels and anxiety. An inability to concentrate on work but a paradoxically increased ability to concentrate on non-work related activities is a classical feature and is nigh pathognomonic.
Investigations: The diagnosis is based on clinical findings, although confirmatory tests may be done. In many cases there is an increased level of clutter on imaging of the affected individual's study area.
Management: The only known cure for procrastination is completing the work that the affected individual was avoiding. There is no known cure during active infection although some make a spontaneous recovery. Specific measures may be taken to reduce the likelihood of coming into contact with infecting organisms, however this often fails as these organisms are almost ubiquitous and the will of an affected individual to avoid them is often weak. Medical treatments are mostly unsatisfactory, although a trial of parental or peer pressure QID maybe instigated. Surgical options include internet severance and amputation of the television antenna.
ranted by Wayland at
6/21/2008 09:03:00 pm
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